delirious?

pissed. kind of? mostly just at myself. yeah, i quit my job. i had to. anywhere i work that makes me feel bad and like i may or may not be fired for calling in with PINK EYE in BOTH EYES is not somewhere i wanna be. i was supposed to apply for some sort of group home situation today for adult "developmentally disabled" aka retarded old people home but i was kind of freaked out when they said something about "bathing" and then REALLY freaked out about the fact that pat brought up that i would have to deal with boners. wow.

i don't even really remember what a jobless me feels like. i told my roommate a couple weeks ago that if i didn't have a job for over a week i would go crazy and wow! here i am! still awake at this hour! just setting myself up for the fact that i'm probably "not gonna have time" to apply anywhere tomorrow. bleehhhhhh.

i put in a few applications with chris' help the other day but just ran into pretty much everyone in tucson that has ever made me feel insecure. i hate feeling that way. but i'm trying to take a positive approach. instead of focusing on everyone else's faults i'm trying to focus on my strengths. that's been working well for me so far.

i'm still insecure in a lot of ways which "clack clacko" isn't helping... as usual. i just can't be confident and it SUCKS. URRGGGGGGG.

i'm such an angsty teen! but that's good in a lot of ways. i'm only 22 and if i don't deal with all this stressful emotional bullshit right now then i'm just gonna have to deal with it when i'm 35. gross.

all i know is that i'm stoked for job searching and the fact that (hopefully) no one will read this! i used to be a really great writer but then one of my closest friends shattered me every chance they got whether it was because it was the truth or because they've always been an insecure butthole. either way... the luckiest told me i should start writing again so here's my first attempt. at almost 7am... to the tune of jamie foxx. what could be bettter?