eins

hi. i have a blog. and a hangover.

hi 2009! 2008 was hands down the worst year of my life! i lost my brain, trampled feelings, embarssed myself, earned a horrible reputation, and probably should have died at least a couple times. voluntary or otherwise. i became entirely suicide obsessed in 08. i wrote at least one suicide note a day and have a whole notebook full of them. they ranged from epic manifestos to punchy one liners. example: "i made one last mess". i liked that one. i know that my behavior over the past year has been anything but acceptable. the worst part is that i think everyone
thought i was doing it on purpose and i always wanted to be able to explain to them that i was just sad. i was so sad. my best bet from this point forward is to try to be a grown up and be sure to not rub it in anyone's face. progress is always better complimented unprompted. i'm done apologizing anyway. the ones i hurt the most were the ones i loved the most and they understand. it's just bored 3rd parties that still feel like it's necessary to mean mug me as much as possible.

i'm optimistic and i'm stoked for summer. it will be hot and i can wear shorts. and sunglasses! and i can eat popsicles in my car and swim while it's raining. mmm wonderful.